How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of Warren Buffett’s favorite books, so if you’re a working professional that’s probably enough to pique your interest. It was originally written in and draws key wisdom from the lives of Abraham Lincoln and contemporary psychology of the time, namely the works of Sigmund lovemedat.com by: 6. 4. Win people to your way of thinking. 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done. 2.
Overview of all products. Overview of HubSpot's free tools. Marketing automation software. Free and premium plans.
Sales CRM software. Customer service software. Content management system software. Premium plans. Operations software. Connect your favorite apps to HubSpot. See all integrations. As a salesman at one point in his life, author Dale Carnegie made his sales territory the national leader for the firm he worked for. Even Warren Buffetone of the most successful investors of the 20th century, took Carnegie's course at age Fortunately for us, all the same lessons were packaged into the now famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Most of us don't. The book becomes another item on that backlog of to-dos we never seem to go to. That's why we summarized the entire book for you. In fact, here is a quick snapshot of all 30 principles. To capture the full lessons behind each of Carnegie's principles which are listed belowjump or scroll down for quick summaries, tweet-worthy quotes, and practice exercises. Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. Be a Leader: How to Change People.
Principle Overview:. World famous psychologist B. Skinner proved that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much faster and retain what what all did shakespeare write learns far more effectively how to have a healthy married life an animal punished for bad behavior.
Do you know someone you would like to change in some way? The only way we can get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want. What do most people want? Health, food, sleep, money, sex. Most of these wants are usually gratified, but there is one longing, almost as deep and ingrained as the desire for food or sleep, that is seldom gratified: the desire to be important. We pokemon heart gold how to evolve togepi to take the people in our lives for granted so often that we neglect to let them know that we appreciate them.
We must be careful to keep in mind the difference between appreciation and flattery, which seldom works with discerning people, as it is shallow, selfish and insincere. Day in and day out, we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves. Perhaps your favorite dessert is strawberry cheesecake.
Excellent choice! Now, if you were to go fishing, would you bait your hook with cheesecake? To convince someone to do something, we have to frame it in terms of what motivates them. And in order to do how to calculate your profit percentage, we have to be able to see things from their point of view as well as our own.
How can I frame this in terms of her wants? Craft your language to make it about them. But even if we are right, what does arguing about it yield? Why prove someone else wrong? Is that going to make the person like us? Not to mention, nine times out of 10, arguing just results in the other person even more firmly convinced that he is right. If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us.
In other words, we still lose. What if, instead of arguing with someone, we admit their importance through appreciation? Instead, sleep on it. This comes off as a challenge. It arouses opposition and incites in the other person a desire to battle with us. Carnegie tells a story of a computer department manager who was desperately trying to recruit a PhD for his department. He finally found the perfect candidate, but the boy also had offers from much larger and better known companies.
When the boy told the manager that he was choosing his company, the manager asked why. The boy explained: "I think it was because managers in the other companies spoke what colours go with dusky pink the phone in a cold business-like manner, which made me feel like just another business transaction. Your voice sounded as if you were glad to hear from me … that you really wanted me to be part of your organization.
This one is simple: Challenge yourself to smile at someone every hour of the day for a full week. A person's name is a very powerful thing - it's an embodiment of that person's identity. It's a reference to them. So remembering and using someone's name is a great way to make that person feel important. Calling someone by their how to win people and influence friends is like paying them a very subtle compliment.
Conversely, forgetting or misspelling someone's name can have the opposite effect and make it feel as though we are distant and disinterested in them. Remembering and using people's names is also a critical component of good leadership.
The executive who can't remember his employees' names can't remember a significant part of his business, and is operating on quicksand. Yet, most people don't remember names for the simple reason that they don't put in the effort to.
We make excuses that we are too busy. We are introduced to a stranger and forget his name only a few minutes later. Next time you meet someone new, make a sincere effort to remember her name. Repeat her name several times how to win people and influence friends try to associate it in your mind with her features or expression, or something you've learned about her.
If it is an uncommon name, ask her to repeat it or spell it for you. Then write it down later so you can visualize the name too. Free Tool: Just as asking someone to repeat their name for the fifth time can be taken as frustrating, so can asking "have you seen my email yet?
Carnegie explains that he once attended a dinner party where he met a botanist whom he found to be absolutely fascinating. He listened for hours with excitement what is the natural color of chocolate the botanist spoke of exotic plants and indoor gardens, until the party ended and everyone left.
Of course, Carnegie had hardly said anything at all. What he had done was listen intently. He listened because he was genuinely interested. Even the most ill-tempered person, the most violent critic, will often be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener.
Take for example, a store clerk. If what is nc 17 vs r clerk constantly interrupts and irritates customers, those customers are more likely to start arguments and bring frustrations and complaints to the store manager. But a clerk who is willing to listen could calm even a customer who storms in already angry. Yet, most people would prefer a good listener to a good talker. Remember that the people we are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their own problems than they are in us and our problems.
Next time you have a conversation, pay attention to how much of the conversation is you talking vs. How much listening are you doing? As you practice this, pay attention to what causes you to jump in with more talking. Are you filling awkward silences? Do you tend to get carried away when you tell stories or share ideas?
Think of some ways you can encourage the other person to do more of the sharing. We now understand that people like to talk about themselves and have others be interested in them.
The next best thing to talking about themselves is talking about the things that they enjoy. Whenever Theodore Roosevelt expected a visitor, he would stay up late the night before, reading up on whatever subject he knew what are the first aid interested his guest.
And that is because Roosevelt was keenly aware of the following idea:. Carnegie describes a story from a man named Edward Chalif, who was planning to ask the president of one of the largest corporations in America to pay for his son to go on a Boy Scout trip.
Before Mr. Chalif went to see him, he had heard that this man had drawn up a check for a million dollars, and that after it was canceled, he had had it framed. Upon meeting the man, he mentioned how much he admired the check and would love to see it. The man was thrilled! Chalif was there to see him. When Mr. Chalif mentioned his request, the man agreed without any questions and even offered to fund the trip for several other boys as well.
How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary
How to Win Friends and Influence People [Book Summary] The most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They've read How to Win Friends and Influence People. As a salesman at one point in his life, author Dale Carnegie made his sales territory the national leader for the firm he worked for. How to win friends and influence lovemedat.com How to win friends and influence lovemedat.com Sign In. Details.
Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since The initial five thousand copies  of the book sold exceptionally well, going through 17 editions in its first year alone. In , a revised edition containing updated language and anecdotes was released.
The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are explained and quoted from below. Before How to Win Friends and Influence People was released, the genre of self-help books had an ample heritage. Authors such as Orison Swett Marden , and Samuel Smiles had enormous success with their self-help books in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
Dale Carnegie began his career not as a writer, but as a teacher of public speaking. He started out teaching night classes at a YMCA in New York and his classes became wildly popular and highly attended.
Because he could not find any satisfactory handbook already in publication, Carnegie originally began writing small booklets to go along with his courses. Shimken then hired a stenographer to type up what he heard in one of Carnegie's long lectures and presented the transcript to Carnegie. To market the book, Shimkin decided to send copies of the book to former graduates of the Dale Carnegie Course, with a note that pointed out the utility of the book for refreshing students with the advice they had learned.
Rockefeller on the importance of human relations. Originally published in November , the book reached the New York Times best-seller list by the end of the year, and did not fall off for the next two years.
It went through 17 print editions in its first year of publishing and sold , copies in the first three months. The book has sold over 30 million copies worldwide since and annually sells in excess of , copies.
They offered a balanced criticism arguing that Carnegie indeed offered insightful advice in dealing with people, but that his wisdom was extremely simple and should not overrule the foundation of actual knowledge. The satirical writer Sinclair Lewis waited a year to offer his scathing critique. He described Carnegie's method as teaching people to "smile and bob and pretend to be interested in other people's hobbies precisely so that you may screw things out of them.
Scholarly critique however, was little and oscillated over time. Due to the book's lay appeal, it was not significantly discussed in academic journals. In the early stages of the book's life, the few scholarly reviews that were written explained the contents of the book and attempted to describe what made the book popular. Despite the lack of attention in academic circles, How to Win Friends and Influence People was written for a popular audience and Carnegie successfully captured the attention of his target.
The book experienced mass consumption and appeared in many popular periodicals, including garnering 10 pages in the January edition of Reader's Digest. The book continued to remain at the top of best-seller lists and was even noted in the New York Times to have been extremely successful in Nazi Germany , much to the writer's bewilderment.
He wrote that Carnegie would rate "butter higher than guns as a means of winning friends" something "diametrically opposite to the official German view. Despite the negative comments from his critics, Carnegie's book established a new genre. Carnegie described his book as an "action-book" but the category he created has since become known as the self-help genre. Almost every self-help book since has borrowed some type of style or form from Carnegie's "path-breaking best seller. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
This article contains instructions, advice, or how-to content. The purpose of Wikipedia is to present facts, not to train. Please help improve this article either by rewriting the how-to content or by moving it to Wikiversity , Wikibooks or Wikivoyage. August This section was included in the original edition as a single page list, which preceded the main content of the book, showing a prospective reader what to expect from it.
The edition omits points 6 to 8, and This section was included in the original edition but omitted from the revised edition. Retrieved March 2, UK: Vermilion. ISBN New York Times.
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